Welcome back to another episode of Shame, Sex and Scandal. I jest, obviously. We left off at my overthinking taking over. I spent that weekend doing jack shite – I think I went out to a quiet coffee place but I was more concerned that I’d royally fucked up this first proper friendship I’d had in a long time. The weekend went slowly, I get so stuck in my head that I forget that the world was going on around me. You know those clips in films where the character is stood in the road and the traffic is going around them out of focus? That’s how I felt for nearly a week.
Then I get a message “Do you fancy a road trip?” and a link to a machine for sale on eBay. It was nearly 3 hours away and I had this instant sinking feeling. He used to call on one of our old drivers to collect these machines, he wouldn’t pay him and I honestly thought he took advantage. The driver wouldn’t mind, he’d say that he was getting his car serviced or help with this or that. It was kind of ignored on site as just one of those things but now I realised that’s what I was to this man, a resource. None of that stopped me from saying yes, but I knew where I stood.
We agreed to go collect the machine Saturday, he found a vehicle and said he’d stay over Friday at the Yard so I’d be welcome to come over and he’d sort dinner out. There were a couple of flirty texts in the morning, an in-joke that I didn’t get until later but it was all hope I was giving myself. I headed to the yard, via a local hotel to check in. I’d decided I wasn’t going home, I wasn’t staying in the yard and I wasn’t bringing the van to work so hotel it was.
The evening was fun, it always is when it’s just the two of us. It was light, it was full of jokes, a couple of beers and a little bit of smoking. We ordered food, it didn’t come, we ordered again, it came. We had a bit of touching, a bit of handy work, as one might say. Looking back, I should have gone further a few times as he ended up being rather uncomfortable having no release. Now, I know the only way to ease that is to go full throttle but apparently he was too sore. We ate the food, I tried to say “Hey, I’ve got a hotel room. Come back with me” but it ended up being more of a see you in the morning thing.
NGL going back to fresh sheets and a quiet room was banging. We had to leave at 7 so there was no breakfast, no chilled morning. I barely had time for a shower but needs must. I went back to the yard, knocked on the door to wake him up and got the day started.
We were driving for about 6 hours in total and talked through most of it. No car karaoke though, I tried but chickened out when it got to the loud bits. You could tell he was flagging on the way home, he got quieter. We only stopped once on the way there and once on the way back. It was probably the most amount of time we’ve spent together in close proximity. Now I think back, it’s possibly why we’re starting to drift apart. Maybe he saw something he didn’t like. Or didn’t see something he wanted to.
The last week has been such minimal contact that it’s sending my mind into overdrive. I had a weekend away in the van and all I could think about was what if I rocked up at his, claiming kidnap, would he actually come with me?
He called late Saturday night, drunk and high. Clearly didn’t have his teeth in (that
